Now she says she feels nothing: no guilt, not bad, not good. I caught mine at a motel room, he left the room and told me there was no one in the room. It hurts like hell. Your partner MUST actively work at avoiding further manic episodes for you to even consider a second chance, – you have options and can make decisions in your own best interests and those of your children (if applicable). Fortunately, the most problematic and dangerous symptoms of bipolar disorder are the easiest to treat. I caught her this time and she admitted it. Bipolar mania is often accompanied by hypersexuality, an increased sex drive that involves risky, reckless behavior. I’ve hurt people I love. I am going through the mania with my spouse now. A few years ago (prior to my diagnoses) I cheated on my husband. Have known him for 40 years. This site complies with the HONcode standard for She is on the standard medication but her behaviors have not changed. It wasn’t a one night stand and then done like you would think in a manic fit. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support. But it was not long before concrete evidence of him cheating on me surfaced. About 4 months in he became hypo manic and left me for “the love of his life” . He also has accused me for years and years of cheating on him and I was forced to tell him my every single move and he went through my phone and my messages, my purse, my car, and I have never ever cheated on him. Site last updated January 18, 2021, DSM-5’s diagnostic criteria for bipolar disorder, Bipolar Disorder and Infidelity: Why It Happens. She uasually gets mad, leaves and sticks to her lies. Since our separation, I have been reading a lot about this mental disease and find that she also meets the profile for Borderline Personality Disorder. She thinks everyone is out to get her and is paranoid much of the time. The Bipolar person experienced extreme shame and guilt due to their actions while the spouse dealt with severe heartbreak and despair. It is the illness in one of its ugliest manifestations. I feel like my feelings are obsolete and hers are the only ones that matter. Psychology Today magazine has estimates that the divorce rate among couples where at least one partner is bipolar is more than 90%. Although recent statistics on bipolar and infidelity are sparse, a 1975 study that looked at lifetimes of sexual experience found infidelity to be more common among people with bipolar. Bipolar and cheating: hand in hand? in today's video, we discuss the bad rap bipolar people have with infidelity. If you or someone you know are experiencing a medical or mental health crisis that requires immediate intervention, please seek out emergency services. Like almost everything else to do with mental health, cheating by people with Bipolar Disorder has not been scientifically studied nearly enough. Also, if a Bipolar person is having a depressive episode, they may have little desire to make love and may be emotionally withdrawn or unavailable. My husband has been cheating (paying tons of money for months t do all sorts of things with all sorts of women.) I am so glad I came across this article. He also might want to check if he is misdiagnosed. So I broke up with him. Hey Amber, I would encourage you to check with a marriage professional regarding your husband. And you know that he has this. Depression can make life so gray that you aren’t sure where the sunshine is hiding or if it will return.…, Every woman on earth has fantasized about some explicit sexual fantasy that she may or may not have been too ashamed to talk about. thing is, no story I have read regarding serial cheating, multiple affairs, types of affairs, etc….fits our story. I never thought to relate it to the bipolar issue, but it is very helpful reading your article and putting it together. Thank you so much for sharing that! Now let me ask you this. I had no excuse no reason why and that made me feel terrible. That is how they are. Also, keep an eye on joint finances, consider how to restrict your partner’s access to money, and also how to avoid liability for any debts they incur. My husband is bipolar. ( We have know each other 40yrs) He then shortly after this began to see his ex wife, telling her he wanted to try to get back together. Again thank you this has helped me. Even after I told him I saw the house keeper trying to get into the room and the door was locked from inside. Living with a bipolar spouse is about 1000 times harder than a normal marriage and I feel that I took a vow in sickness and in health. It’s indeed hard to forgive these breeches of trust. I don’t know how I could possibly get past this but I can’t imagine splitting up our family. He went from the sweetest man I have ever know to someone I almost did not recognize. Glad we could help Lisa. Within 3 months of our separation, she is sleeping with another man, a total stranger. Bipolar infidelity is fueled by Bipolar mania, especially in people who have not been diagnosed yet. His lithium numbers are only at 3, I know this is to low to be therapeutic. My first book, The Bipolar Diet, was published a few years ago and is doing great: 1 Managing and getting through manic episodes, medication side effects, and residual symptoms in between episodes (among many other stressors) takes a toll on the caregiving partner. He was “experimenting” w/ his medication and went into a manic period where he lied about expenses and also had an affair. Am I correct in being concerned that this could turn bad? The shifts in mood associated with bipolar disorder can cause extreme changes in behavior. The solution is to stabilize the bipolar spouse and treat the mania – invariably this is best done with a proven mood stabilizer such as lithium. Thank you. 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